This morning when I woke up, something had changed. The humidity had relaxed to a bearable level. The 90-degree highs and 80-degree lows we’ve been sweating through here in Kansas City had broken overnight as a cool drizzle rolled in. I turned off the air conditioner. I opened the windows. I took a deep breath of the pleasantly cool, damp air.
It’s happening, folks. The season is changing at last. And you know what that means, right?
That’s right. It means it’s time for Alaskan grizzly bears to get as fat as possible in preparation for the winter.
It’s Fat Bear Week again, everyone!
Tell me you have heard of Fat Bear Week! The beloved tradition! A festival of nature and joyful, bewitching excess! Put on annually by Katmai Conservancy in Anchorage, Alaska, Fat Bear Week is a single-elimination tournament where we, the public, can vote on the bestest, most fattest bear at Katmai National Park.
And let’s be clear about this: this is not a matter of pure weight. For one, it is nigh-impossible to weigh these wild bears anyway. No, what we’re looking for is which bear is the most successful at embodying ideal bear fatness: that is, preparation for a long winter hibernation during which time the bear shall consume not a bite of berry, not a flake of fish. Ahead of this time, bears must eat and eat and eat to become large, robust, and glorious specimens of beardom. So Katmai Conservancy presents us with photos of the bears “before” (that is, in early summer) and “after” (late summer) so we can see which bear has done the best job of preparing itself for the long sleep to come. Any bear can win! Boy bears and girl bears, grizzled grizzlies of many years and little cubs preparing for their first winter. It’s all about the effort, people.
Voting begins tomorrow on the official website, though in the meantime there are loads of other bear-themed activities you can participate in. Katmai Conservancy posts lots of lovely videos that allow you to learn about bears and their habits, including live chats and bear cams showing what the bears are up to this very instant. I also think it’s worth looking at the press kit, something I rarely urge readers to do: there’s a printable bracket, trading cards of all the bears, and even an adorable “I Voted” sticker.
But I know what you’re here for. You want to see the fat bears. I will leave the full list of fat bears to the official website, as there are quite a few. But I’m going to show you several of my favorites who I will be aggressively voting for this week.
This is a mother bear, referred to as 132, and three of her cubs, competing in the bear family division together. Look how round those cubs have become over the summer! I’m extra impressed because I imagine it is especially challenging to achieve such a robustness with three whole mouths to feed: 132 has the most cubs to juggle in the family division.
WOW. Look at this lady! She’s incredible! I miiiight be swayed just a little bit by the fact that this bear has been nicknamed Marshmallow, but I also just feel drawn to her. This is a woman who’s growing beautifully into maturity. She’s had a few years as a young adult, playing with other bears, getting better at fishing, and now she’s nearing an age where she might have some cubs. According to the website, this is the fattest she’s ever been. Great work, Marshmallow! I’m rooting for you!
Holy wow! This guy has had a glow-up! Bucky here sure has come a long way in just a few months! Bucky is apparently a bit aggressive even for a bear, but he’s also very clever: he’s figured out smart ways to catch salmon at a pool near Brooks Falls where no other bear has been able to figure out how to catch fish. That seems to be working out well for him. Bucky here is only nine years old, so in future years he could grow even larger if he works hard and does his best. Go Bucky!
Please go check out the other contenders for fattest bear, consider voting, and maybe learn a thing or two about these majestic beings while you’re at it. Fall is in the air, folks, and there’s no better way to celebrate than to consider the wondrous enormity of a bear.