The vibes around Pokémon Champions have been mostly bad for a number of reasons since it launched today, but really I should have caught onto how much of a disappointment the Switch battle simulator would be right when I booted up the game and it handed me the absolute most sauceless Pokémon trainer this side of the Paldea region. The drip is not dripping in Champions.
Pokémon’s fashion has been hit or miss over the years. For every Legends: Z-A and Sword and Shield that gives players a pretty great wardrobe with which to express themselves, we get a Scarlet and Violet that makes everyone wear the same school uniforms. But while the lack of options sucked, at least those uniforms were somewhat fashionable.
Pretty much all the clothes you can buy in Champions right now looks like the default outfit you see pictured above. It’s all slight variations on the same sportswear with no discernible style or aesthetic. Legends: Z-A was especially good at giving players a lot of different styles to mix and match, letting them create a distinct look for their trainer that wasn’t easy to replicate. I never saw anyone with my exact outfit in that game, whereas everyone in Champions looks like they just raided the closest Nike store and just made do. Even the hat I’m forced to wear right now is a hideous diving beanie with a stupid-looking knot at the top. Give me back my cool outfit from Legends: Z-A.
Champions has mostly just disappointed me by not including the Pokémon that were in the trailers and by making all its team-building tools a grind, but I was hopeful I could at least serve while I was clowning folks online. It couldn’t even give me that, and every time I see an NPC who dresses like they have a personality, I weep.