Today, as work was winding down, my esteemed colleague Ash Parrish made a surprising observation in Slack:
Now, look. Okay. I will be the first to say, loudly and fearfully, that is not a thought I was personally having. My initial reaction was one of disgust. A single sad face emoji. Speechless in the face of new ideas.
And yet…
I couldn’t stop thinking. Zora? Chewy? Maybe?
Are other Ocarina of Time characters…also chewy?
You read the headline. You know what’s coming. I couldn’t help myself. Here are 11 Ocarina of Time characters, ranked in order of how chewy I think they look, with #1 being the chewiest:
11 – Deku Scrub
Is crunchy the same as chewy? (No.)
10 – Lizalfos
Under all that armor is a (somewhat) chewy center.
9 – Lord Jabu Jabu
He’s a fish. Have you ever had raw fish before? Chewy.
8 – Those stupid tentacles inside Lord Jabu Jabu
Fish parts, yes, but notably more gummy than the rest. Very irritating to kill due to gumminess, in fact.
7 – Bari/Biri
Jellyfish. A lot of the stuff in the watery areas of Ocarina of Time is chewy, I am discovering. No surprise I guess.
6 – Morpha
On here for similar reasons to the tentacles, but I think the little ball in the center that actually is Morpha would be a nice gummy. Like a Metroid.
5 – Eyeball Frog
Its N64 incarnation is probably more chewy than its Nintendo Switch 2 version.
4 – Like Likes
They chew me, I chew them. Fair’s fair.
3 – Octoroks
I love takoyaki.
2 – King Zora
Rubbery and definitely chewy, but his size and shape would make him slightly more difficult to chew than—
1 – All the rest of the Zora
Sorry but upon examination I think Ash is right. They have a weird rubberriness to them that makes me think they would be very, very chewy.
