Barbie maker Mattel announced that it’s planning to make a live-action movie based on Tony the Tattooed Man, one of the company’s biggest flops ever. It’s yet another example of the toy giant tossing everything at the wall as it desperately tries to create another Barbie-sized movie success.
On February 3, Deadline confirmed that Mattel has teamed up with up-and-coming director Tracie Laymon to develop a live-action film based on the toy maker’s failed 1992 product. The toy, which was quickly pulled from shelves after parents complained, allowed children to cover a nearly nude man in tattoos that could also be applied to kids themselves.
Making a movie out of this toy is a wild idea that seems destined to fail, assuming it ever even happens. But things get even wilder and funnier when you read the quotes Mattel and the director provided to Deadline about the toy and the film. These are all real, folks!
“After seeing Bob Trevino Likes It [Laymon’s recent Sundance flick] and the specificity and emotional depth that Tracie brings to her characters, I knew that she was the perfect person to develop Tony the Tattooed Man,” said Robbie Brenner, Mattel Studios’ President and Chief Content Officer. “It’s a story that feels especially relevant today, one that explores looking beyond first impressions and leading with empathy.”
Keep in mind, we are talking about a toy that nobody remembers, that Mattel only released in an odd attempt to appeal to boys, and which flopped so hard that buying these figures online is tricky, as they are considered somewhat rare and collectible. With that in mind, let’s check out what the film’s director and writer had to say about the project:
“I was immediately drawn to Tony the Tattooed Man from the minute I saw his name and then learned about his short-lived journey as a discontinued toy,” said Laymon. “His story is a reminder of the healing power of second chances and not judging a book – or a person – by their cover, a message I believe the world needs right now. It is an honor to partner with Mattel, who are true allies for artists, on a film that will help restore our faith in humanity.”
Read those last few words again and truly ponder them. A movie based on Tony the Tattooed Man will “help restore our faith in humanity.” We really do live in the weirdest and worst timeline, huh?
Perhaps this is all just a way for the people involved to try to get folks talking about the movie. If that’s the case, it worked. Then again, I’ve heard plenty of execs talk earnestly about the dumbest stuff, so I know all of this could also be genuine. Well, as genuine as this crap can be. It all feels like this is a deleted scene from Apple TV’s The Studio.
Anyway, good luck, Mattel. I bet this movie will definitely match the success and cultural impact of 2023’s Barbie. I mean, I won’t make that bet, but if you want to waste your money on it, go ahead. I’ll be there to see whatever arrives in theaters.