As a newcomer to Grand Theft Auto games preparing to play GTA 6, I’m genuinely awed by the level of world detail we just saw in the 26-minute gameplay presentation over on Netflix. I’m obsessed with the small stuff: Lucia’s gorgeous hair and the way it swishes and sways naturally! The TV ads! The detail in signs as you walk or drive through Leonida! But there’s one very, very specific moment in particular that I keep pausing and winding back, because the level of detail is making me feel some things: it’s the moment when Jason grabs a drink out of the fridge in his and Lucia’s kitchen.
My guy, my gal, what is going on in here? What is happening in your fridge? Hello? Do you need help? A vegetable, perhaps?
Now, I get it. We don’t have a great sense yet of where in the story this takes place. Maybe the pair haven’t lived here for very long. Maybe this is just a safehouse and not a place they intend to spend large quantities of time in. But somehow, I’m not sure that’s the case. The fridge is covered in cute sticky notes, seemingly written by Lucia. They say stuff like, “HYDRATE! Drink that water” and “NO MORE SNACKING” and “You are STRONG” and “Work Out Every Day.” It’s got photos all over it too, of what seem to be Lucia and her friends, and a bill with a reminder to pay. Those are not the signs of a temporary residence: to me, this reads like Lucia at least has been living here a while and thus has had ample opportunity to stock this kitchen properly.
Also, at least one of them clearly has stocked it. Poorly. Let’s take a look here and see what’s in the fridge:
Wow! Okay! So from what we can see here, we have both Sprunk and eCola, sodas returning from past GTA games. So we have soda. We have…several different kinds of alcohol, including a beer just called “Logger” and another called “Lavazas.” We have some pre-made smoothies in “Blitz Berry” and “Blitz Green” flavors and a protein shake. There seems to be stronger alcohol in here too, I think what might be Triple Sec? Maybe also some strawberry liqueur back there? Something that looks like a half-empty water bottle? And, my absolute least favorite thing in here, a tub of spreadable salted butter, the only thing you can see that could reasonably be classified as a “food,” I guess, by some standard.
Jason! Lucia! Guys! Come on! Doing crimes is hard work! You gotta eat better than soda, smoothies, protein shakes, and alcohol! Desperate for some sign that these folks have ever consumed a vegetable, I cast my eyes around the rest of the kitchen. You can see the sticky notes on the top freezer when Jason backs out of the fridge, and one seems to be a recipe. I can make out: Sour cream, corn starch, egg, water, salt. I think this is a scrambled eggs recipe, maybe, but none of these ingredients are in the fridge. There’s a “Pick up” list on there, too, with items such as Wipes, Strips, Pads, Highlighter, something starting with a B I can’t make out, and “Treats for the baby,” whatever that means (dog maybe, based on the “WOOF” floor mat?) Nothing resembling real food, anyway.
The couple have pots on top of the fridge, clearly not used to cook anything, because there are 0 actual ingredients in this house. There’s a toaster, which I guess could be filled with bread, if they owned any, that could then be buttered with that spread in the fridge. The cutting board sitting out is so suspiciously clean! There is one dish in the sink, a mug, perhaps to be paired with the coffee maker on the opposite counter and some coffee lurking in a cupboard? Fine, though the super-full bottle of dish soap and the lack of a sponge anywhere to be seen has me doubting anyone is doing dishes very often here. There’s a great knife collection in a knife block underneath a very sad yellow microwave. A single empty bowl and spoon sit out on the bar but I cannot fathom what they would have contained. Water? Butter? Tequila?
But I haven’t even touched on the worst offense here: The spice situation. Look, far be it from me to tell either of these people what spices they should have. Maybe they have a stocked spice cupboard that I just can’t see. That’s none of my business. What is my business is this wacky situation where they appear to be storing paprika, turmeric, chili powder, and some green dried herb on the window sill in clear jars in direct sunlight. No!!! Guys! You are ruining them!
I want to be clear here: I don’t think for a second this is Rockstar just leaving things out because it’s too much work to develop them. Rockstar? For GTA 6? No. No, someone thought about this fridge and kitchen setup and did this on purpose to prove a point, and the point is that these two characters are, at this part of the story, likely eating like crap.
Jason, Lucia, my loves. Please let me come over and stock your kitchen for you. Better yet, let me cook you something. Something hot, with vegetables in it. You two are surely making piles of money off all those heists and robberies; you do not need to live like this. Food gives you health, after all. Just because you wrote yourself a note that says “NO MORE SNACKING” doesn’t mean you don’t need vitamins, and trying to get all your nutrition from whatever a Blitz Berry smoothie is will probably backfire eventually. Shoot, it’s Florida. At least get some fresh citrus or something.
