Mina the Hollower is a very funny game. Its characters are real weirdos with big personalities, a lot of them have lines that are either directly funny or at least darkly so, and Yacht Club Games understands the physical comedy of enemies leaping out at you and knocking you into pits very, very well. In honor of the game’s release today, I’d like to introduce you to one of my favorite characters in Mina the Hollower. His name is Klumpy Dee, and he’s a clown that leaps out at you when you least expect it, shrieks at you, and then tells you a bad joke in verse:
There he is! Klumpy! He has scared the living daylights out of me every single time I’ve encountered him. In the above screenshot, I’ve just walked over to that patch of grass and whacked it with my morning star, and Klumpy Dee has dramatically leaped from the bushes, done a horrific scream while baring a set of sharp and fearsome teeth, and then erupted into peals of laughter when Mina (and by extension, myself) jumped out of our dang skin in terror.
He then follows every jump scare up with a truly unamusing dad joke. To illustrate, I’ll share with you the very basic joke Klumpy Dee tells you when he leaps out at you in the screenshot above, which is located in a place most players are likely to see early in the game, so it’s very un-spoilery. I will relate it verbatim, including his mad laughter when he delivers the punchline:
“A noble lays in a peasant’s grave in Queensbury Crypt. What time was the execution?
“Severin’ o’clock sharp! HOOOOOHOHOO! Severin’!”
That’s the caliber of joke we’re talking here. They’re all like that. Some are a little better than others.
I am truly being sincere when I say I love Klumpy Dee. I think he’s going to be a divisive figure among players given, well, everything I described above. A couple of his scares are also really, really freaky, just based on the timing and location where he jumps out. But he’s not a bad guy. He never hurts you. Even if you take a few whacks at him when you’re startled, he takes it on the heavily makeupped chin. Klumpy Dee’s whole philosophy seems to be that life is hard, death is inevitable, and it’s good to add a little surprise and laughter to our day. If we maintain a positive outlook on difficult or even terrifying things, such as mad clowns leaping out at us from the hedges, we are better equipped to handle the hard knocks of life.
In that spirit, I send you off into the weekend with Klumpy Dee’s parting line: “Until next time! Try not to die! And do keep laughing, lest you cry!”